


désarroi

by KattyLuvSFood



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Bottom Ron Weasley, Confused Ron Weasley, Denial of Feelings, Depression, Emotional Hurt, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Friendzone, Harry Potter Bashing, Hogwarts Fifth Year, Love Triangles, M/M, Sad Harry, Top Draco Malfoy, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2020-05-15 07:12:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19290802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KattyLuvSFood/pseuds/KattyLuvSFood
Summary: Harry had feelings for him since forever. It annoyed Harry how oblivious and ignorant Ron was towards his feelings. But he couldn't blame him. After all, he didn't even show the slightest hint. But once the self-control of Harry's went out of the roof, turmoil and tranquillity occur. Leaving Ron to be the one fully receiving the effects of it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi to anybody who is willing to give this a go. This is my first time writing a fanfiction actually and I do hope you enjoy it. Do excuse any OOC parts. I did my best to portray their characters as close to the original. Thank You :)

Harry’s POV  
I couldn’t hold it in anymore. My lust for him overtook my rationality. I slammed him up against the walls of the laboratory and placed my knees in between his.  
“Ha-Harry? Um… you alright mate?” Ron’s voice quavered.  
I stared at him and ravished the sight of him being under me. His beautiful ocean blue eyes and freckles that littered all over him. Beautiful.  
“Harry?” Ron called out to me again. This time, less nervous.  
“Ha-” Ron was quickly cut short when I kissed him on his lips. I devoured his lips like it was the most delicious thing I ever tasted. I sucked and bit on his soft pink lips, making his lips swollen. I tried to enter his mouth but Ron’s mouth was shut tightly and so was his eyes. His hands, which were originally placed on my shoulder to push me away, started clenching my shirt.  
I then slithered my hands under his shirt and onto his nipples. With that action, Ron gasped in shock, which gave me an upper hand. I quickly devoured and explored the caverns of the insides of his mouth. Ron’s breathing started becoming harsher and saliva drooling down his chins. I looked up to see Ron eyes tearing up, this made his eyes even more beautiful. He was flushed and had ragged breathing.  
I then decided to move down to his naped and suck on it, giving him a hickey. While doing so, Ron breathing wavered and his legs started to give out. Oh, what a sight it was. Ron was even more beautiful than before.  
“Har-ry, s-s-top” Ron said in his ravished state  
This had only made me more aroused. I was about to go on when someone pulled me away from Ron and took hold of Ron so that he won’t fall.  
“Who the-”  
“Oh, Potter. What a thing to do to your best friend.” Malfoy interrupted my question and proceeded to glare at me.  
“What’s it got to do with you Malfoy,” I said defensively  
“He said stop, didn’t he. Don’t you the word consent? You might as well be raping him, Potter.” Malfoy said with much intensity.  
“What?! Rape?! Don’t lump me in with that!” I replied furiously. I would never rape Ron. I love him!  
Malfoy snorted and carried Ron away from the lavatory.

Malfoy’s POV  
I was about to enter the lavatory until I heard harsh breathing and kissing sounds. What in the world do these people think they're doing? Truly disgusting. Deciding that it wasn’t a good time to go in, I took a 180-degree turn and went back. But as I did so, I heard Weasley’s voice. He was moaning while trying to say, ‘Harry stop’. What in the world. Is Potter trying to rape him? How dare him. That bloody prat. With that, I quickly took off towards the lavatory. Inside I saw Potter giving many hickeys to poor Weasley and Weasley was crying and looking dazed and confused. But seeing Weasley in this state was… arousing, to say the very least. But I’m not a stupid Gryffindor who can’t control his libido. I’m a Slytherin for Merlin's sake. I then strutted towards Potter and pulled him off of Weasley. Hmph, Potter looked furious. And oh, poor Weasley he didn’t even have the energy to stand. I took his arms and placed it around my shoulders.  
“Who the-” Potter said with much irritation.  
“Oh, Potter. What a thing to do to your best friend.” I interrupted him and glared at him.  
“What’s it got to do with you Malfoy,” Potter said defensively  
“He said stop, didn’t he. Don’t you the word consent? You might as well be raping him, Potter.” I said with much intensity.  
“What?! Rape?! Don’t lump me in with that!” Potter replied furiously.  
Stupid Gryffindor, does anything even go through your brain? What an imbecile.  
I then snorted and carried Ron away from the lavatory.

Ron’s POV  
When Harry started kissing me and touching me, my brain was an absolute blank. I didn’t know how to respond. Maybe that’s why Harry thought I allowed this to happen to me. I was mostly confused and scared. Harry’s my best friend… right?  
I tried asking Harry to stop but he looked so...intense. For a moment I thought I was going to die. He looked like he was going to eat me up, his gaze made me shiver. Thankfully somebody stopped Harry before he could proceed any further. But the person was the most unlikely one. Malfoy. My legs were weak and I didn’t know why but it unabled me to walk. So Malfoy helped me all the way to Madam Pomfrey. When we arrived at the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey gave me a questionable look and decided not to ask any questions. Thankfully. I was embarrassed as it is already. Madam Pomfrey then gave a bloody disgusting potion for me to drink. I did but I gagged doing so. It was atrocious, to say the least.  
“Look out for Potter alright. I know his your best mate but it doesn't mean you can lower down your guard.I’ ll be going now. Take care.” Malfoy said gently  
Is this really Malfoy? That pompous git who insulted my whole family. The Malfoy? He seemed really...nice. Bloody hell.  
“Rest for a couple more minutes and you can go. Now I won’t question your actions but if it happens again please tell a professor or a friend at the very least.

During dinner, Harry wasn’t there. Was he afraid of seeing me? But he’s the one who did all that touching and kissing, not me! Why should he be afraid?  
“Ron, do you know why Harry’s not here?” Hermione said while scooping mash potatoes onto her plate.  
“Huh? Oh n-no” I replied, a bit startled at the question.  
“Did you guys fight?” Hermione furrowed her eyebrows  
“No, stop asking.” I quickly denied and took some drumsticks and chewed on it.  
Hermione sighed loudly and proceeded to say “You guys are already 5th years, not 1st years. So act like it. But if you have anything to tell me, say it.”  
“Mmm mkay,” I replied, not giving any eye contact to Hermione  
Hermione sighed for a second time and started eating her dinner.  
Should I tell Hermione? But Mdm Promfey said if it happens again then… argh, I’ll just see how it goes.

When I went back to the Gryffindor tower, Harry wasn’t there. Where the hell was he? I sighed and trudged up to the boy’s dorm to find Harry but to no avail. Deciding that the day's event was enough for me, I quickly retired to bed. 

Narrator POV  
It wasn’t long before Hermione got annoyed with the distance Ron and Harry had. Hermione had relentlessly asked Ron on what exactly had happened between those two but only to be met with either utter nonsense or denial. Finally, Hermione had snapped and forcibly demanded Ron to ‘get it out’. In the end, Hermione became the victor and managed to get the information out of Ron. But that had made Hermione quite surprised - Scratch that - Profoundly surprised.  
“What?! He kissed you?! Is he mad? Oh my gosh!” Hermione scowled at the thought of Harry taking advantage of Ron’s ignorance.  
“Hermione! Lower your voice.” Ron spluttered in embarrassment at Hermione's’ outburst.  
“Now, Ron, what did you do?”  
“What do you mean by ‘what did you do’? Ron raised his eyebrows in confusion. Hermione then sighed.  
“Exactly what I meant” Hermione replied.  
“Well I couldn’t do anything, a-an-d he was gonna go on if not for Malfoy.”  
“So you were basically a damsel in distre- Wait, Malfoy?” If Hermione wasn’t already shocked before, she was now. “ Malfoy, Draco Malfoy. He who continuously called me, a mudblood and you, a blood traitor? The Draco Malfoy?” Hermione bombarded Ron with questions which were said in disbelief. She was at a lost. Hermione Granger, at a lost.  
“Yes Hermione, The Draco Malfoy.”  
“Did he do anything to you?” Hermione asked with a hint of nervousness in her voice  
“Have you lost the plot? Of course not.” Ron then proceeded to storm off to Potions’ class.  
“Wait - Ron!” Hermione, with her books wrapped in her arms, chased after Ron.

Hermione’s POV

When I entered the potions classroom with Ron. I saw Harry. He was happily chatting with Nevile without care. That idiot he better repent on what he did. I then tilted my neck to check on Ron. He looked nervous, his fingers were trembling as he looked at Harry’s direction. I sighed, Harry doing that sacrilegious act had made Ron a jittering mess. I then placed my hand on Ron’s shoulder to calm him down but it was met with a backlash. Ron had jolted and dropped his books. This had made the class’s attention move to him. Ron's face began to turn as red as his hair and became even more of a mess. I sighed again and bent down to help with Ron’s book.  
“Th-an-thanks He-Hermione,” Ron said and took his books from my grasp frantically.  
I watched as Ron went to find a sit and obviously not anywhere near Harry. Harry’s face had a hint of disappointment at Ron’s decision. But Isn’t it an obvious thing after what you had done. Gosh, sometimes I don’t even know why I’m friends with him. He can be more of an idiot than Ron at times. I then walked briskly towards Malfoy.  
“Hello Malfoy,” I said with gusto.  
Malfoy was cut short from his conversation and looked at me with surprise in his face.  
“What do you want Granger” Malfoy spat  
Oh so it’s only Weasley he’s kind to. Interesting.  
“On behalf of Ron, I would like to thank you for saving Ron from Harry,” I said with a forced smile.  
Malfoy snorted and meticulously said, “You’re not here for that, what is your real reason, Granger.”  
“Expected of you Malfoy. I would like to understand why you had chosen to interfere with the situation and helped Ron. Don’t you hate him? After all, you always belittled him. Anyways, likewise, what is your real reason Malfoy.”  
At my peripheral vision, I saw Professor Snape and I decided that the conversation can wait and quickly went to another table. But before I could do so, Malfoy grasped my arms tightly and said: “Stay, I’ll tell you why.”  
I could see Professor Snape eyeing in my direction. Clearly amused at my choice of place.  
“Look, Granger, I’ll tell you why but on one condition. Please don’t let Ron near Potter.” Malfoy pleaded.  
It was a first. Malfoy pleading and did he say, Ron?  
“I can’t promise you that and you know it. Ron and Harry are best friends and It’s natural for them to be together. I can’t just end a friendship like that.” I said precariously  
Malfoy took a deep sigh.  
“I understand. But let me rephrase it instead. Keep an eye out for Potter, don’t let it happen again. It was a miracle that I stumbled upon them at that time. And I thank Merlin that, but I can’t guarantee a second miracle. So In my place, protect Ron.”  
I was quite shocked at how much Malfoy cared for Ron.  
“That I can promise. But what about when in the dorms or classes that I don’t have with them?” I said uncertainly  
“I can help for classes but dorms… you figure it out”  
With that, the conversation died and the rest of the period was spent concentrating on class.

“Hey! Hermione” Harry called out to me  
I sighed and stopped in my tracks to allow Harry to catch up to me.  
“Do you know where’s Ron? After Potion ended, he just disappeared.” Harry said but looked around at the same time to see any traces of Ron.  
“Look, Harry, can we have a talk?”  
“What? Bu-” Harry was clearly displeased at my reply and wanted to find Ron as soon as possible  
“Now.”


	2. Facade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth will eventually be revealed, ugly or not, it will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, this chapter is a bit shorter than I would like but I did kind of rushed it. So ye... hope you enjoy it:)

Narrator Pov

“Hermione, I really don’t have time for this.” Harry irritatedly said to Hermione  
Once Hermione sat down on the couch of the Gryffindor’s common room, she glared at Harry.  
“Oh, I’m sure you have time for this Harry. Especially for this.” Hermione continued giving Harry the cold glare and practically spat the sentence out.  
“Hermione, what are on about? Did I do something to you?”  
With a deep breath, Hermione began ranting.  
“Are you an idiot? Or have you lost your mind? To just kiss Ron and ravish him like that, you are an absolute, horrendous and atrocious piece of garbage. Oh, and must I add, even Malfoy had the morality that you don’t have. If not for Malfoy, you’d probably rape him wouldn’t you, Harry. Honestly, I’m really disappointed in you.” Hermione's face was basically contorted in rage. It was a rare sight, to say the least.  
“What! Rape?! Are you and Malfoy ganging up on me? I wasn’t going to rape him!” This time Harry face was equally as contorted as Hermione’s, if not even more. Harry without any reluctance, left in a fit to find Ron.  
‘Keep an eye out for Potter, don’t let it happen again’  
“Oh no-” Draco’s words smacked Hermione’s face when Harry was out of her sight. Her gut churned on the possible outcome if Harry had found, Ron. Call it a woman’s intuition or whatever, Hermione felt that it wasn’t to bode on well if Harry found Ron. She felt her heart accelerate and adrenaline pumping in her veins at the thought. Hermione quickly took her books and went to find Ron before Harry did.

Draco’s POV

Thankfully Granger’s sensible, unlike Potter. That Potter can go Avada Kedevra himself for all I care. With her help, I felt more peaceful than before. But even with Granger’s help, I cannot fully rely on her. Thus I will play my part in protecting my Weasley. But… I’ve been wondering about something. Isn’t Weasley reaction towards Potter’s affection a bit weird? Unless he-  
“Um Malfoy” Weasley croaked.  
“Not here, Weasley” I quickly replied and pulled him off to a corridor.  
“Sorry Weasley didn’t want Potter to see you with me, or you, actually,” I said admittedly to Ron “So why did you call me out for?  
“O-oh um well… I would like to thank you for that day. Didn’t expect you to do that at all. Thought you were a pompous git. Turns out, you can be a nice guy.” Ron said with a small smile.  
The smile was beautiful. Every time I had interacted with Ron, he would either scowl or frown at me. It was the first time this beautiful guy had smiled at me. And truly was it beautiful.  
“Well, what if being a pompous git is a facade? What if I say, I didn’t mean any harsh words I said to you? Would you believe it? Ron” I said with a slight smirk. I was being thoroughly honest actually, meant every word I said.  
Ron's eyes widened at the confession and looked anywhere except for me in embarrassment. His face started to flush red like his hair. Cute.  
“Um well, hard to believe but maybe I do,” Ron mumbled while looking at his shoes  
I didn’t expect that reply, not at all. With that, a minute of silence went by. Out of nowhere, I started snickering and then burst out in laughter. Ron, clearly dumbfounded at my sudden burst of laughter, stood still and thought what he had said wrong. Not being able to understand me, Ron decided to follow suit and laugh. Honestly, the situation was really weird that it amused me.

Finally, both of us calmed down and leant against the walls and wiped away our tears.  
“Argh, my stomach hurts from laughing too much. It’s all your fault Malfoy.” Ron said jokingly.  
“Well, do you feel better?” I asked as I was worried about his mentality.  
Honestly, that day’s incident may have hit him too hard. Which may have not sat nicely on him and him not being able to cope with it. I wanted him to tell me how he felt so I can help him but… I never got well with him in terms of relationships due to our families. Ever since I met him on the train, I wanted to be on good terms with him. Laugh, have fun and do whatever with him. However, I had no choice but to ridicule and belittle him. It was hard for me to pretend I hated him. How can someone ignore their feelings and do the complete opposite of what you wanted with someone...you love? How can someone be so heartless and pretend who they re not? Why must the previous generation’s issue be passed on to the other? Just because the previous generation hated each other, it doesn’t mean that I want to hate on them. I’m not my father… I’m Draco Malfoy. Not Lucious nor Abraxas. Basically, I love Ron but I’m not sure he even thinks of me as a friend. So, him telling me how he feels may not happen at all. I sighed knowing that the possibility of it was zero to none.  
“Hey, Malfoy. You know, I never really hated you. Maybe I was just being a jerk or a prat. Maybe you were a Malfoy so I decided I should hate you and maybe because you were a Slytherin, which made me not so fond of you. If what you said was true, maybe we can be friends? I mean Hermione always said I was being prejudiced about thinking all Slytherins are bad, so maybe we can be friends?” The lovely smile reappeared again and I unconsciously smiled, the most I ever had. I was never happier. I wanted to this moment forever. Being friends with him was a blessing. I was contented just being friends with him. Nothing more.  
“Huff...Puff… Ron...Huff… Ron?” My thoughts were quickly cut short by Granger gasping for air and calling out for Ron at the same time.  
“Hermione?” Ron queried.  
Hermione’s ear perked up at the sound of her name and looked towards the source of the voice.  
“Ron? Oh, thank god you’re with Malfoy.” Granger said with a sigh of relief.  
“Is there a problem, Granger?” I asked with a hint of irritation in my voice. Well, of course, I was irritated for Granger had just interrupted my precious time with Ron.  
Granger sighed and sat down on the floor with me and Ron. She then took out her handkerchief from her bag and wiped her beads of sweat off from her face. “Well” She began, “ I went ahead and reprimanded Harry for what he did and he got mad and left to find Ron. Due to anger, I’d forgotten our agreement for a tad while. Now after he had stormed off, did I remember it. I was a bit hysterical at the thought of Harry finding Ron and my intuition didn’t sit right with it too. So I ran on to find you. Thankfully you were with Malfoy, Ron.”

Harry’s POV  
After I did that to Ron and had an unfortunate meeting with Malfoy, I felt really tired. I didn’t want to do anything anymore. I didn’t even know why I decided to kiss Ron in the first place. I know I love him...but - Merlin’s sake I just want to go back to the dorm. 

I felt like I was drowning and I couldn’t breathe. My limbs felt heavy and my chest felt as if someone crushing it. I needed to go to class but, I wouldn't bother. I sighed, probably a thousand times already since I entered the dorm. I looked out of the window and saw the sky. Clouds were covering the sun, blocking the sunlight from reaching the room. The room was dark and it felt strangely comforting that way. I just wanted to lie in bed all day, maybe forever… until the end of the world, maybe. Can I just sink into the bed? 

I had fallen asleep and woke up during dinner time. I didn’t want to face Ron so I decided not to go to the grand hall.  
“Ron, he may come looking after me when he finished dinner. I’ll just head to the kitchen to avoid him.” I muttered to myself.  
I hid along the corridors, while all the students went back to their dorms or detention. When the sign was clear I took slow and light footsteps to the kitchen. The moment I took a left turn, I heard Flitch's voice  
“What? A student loitering around the corridors? Thank you Mrs Norris” Fitch scowled at the mention of a student but had an awful sweet voice when he thanked Mrs Norris.  
I heard Flitch’s footsteps closing in on me and I decided to make a run for it. Thankfully, Flitch didn’t catch me and was unaware of my location. I then slowed down my pace as was nearing the kitchen. When I entered the kitchen, I was gushed by sudden brightness and warmth.  
“Dobby welcome Harry Potter to the kitchen!” Dobby greeted me with much enthusiasm  
“Oh… Hi dobby, um do you mind making some food for me to eat? I’m famished” I instructed Dobby  
“Dobby will do it right away sir!” With that, Dobby went off to cook his meal  
“Thanks, Dobby” I mumbled.  
As I waited for my food, I stared blankly into space and thought of the day’s event. I regretted kissing him so much. Years of restraint and lies just to be released. I wanted to just dig my grave, to perish from this world. I started clenching my fists and my nails were digging into my palms. Pain, I thrived from it. Maybe those two were right… I would have raped Ron if not for Malfoy. I’m disgusting, to be able to do that to someone you love… maybe I should just die. Avada Kedevra myself and save others the trouble of killing me off. Yeah… I should just perish, I’m worth-  
“Harry Potter? Dooby serves your food”  
“Huh? Oh, thanks dobby” I thanked Dobby and dug into my food.

When I went back to the dorm, everyone was sound asleep. I walked precariously towards Ron’s bed and lifted the blinds. Ron was beautiful, his fiery red hair tousled in sleep and lanky leg tangled in the blanket. I bent down towards Ron’s face and touched his lips. It was still bruised from the kissing. I ghosted my hands over his face and down to his nape and then his chest where a few hickeys were littered. Some were covered by bandages but some were exposed. Beautiful.  
“Mmmm” Ron groaned at the touch but then continued to sleep  
I smiled to myself and proceeded to sleep.  
Ron… the one who pulls me out of the eternal abyss that I drown in. Just his face gives me hope to survive. I’ll apologise to him tomorrow and everything will be back to normal. Yeah… like how it used to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this story of mine:) Updates on my story are inconsistent. During June the stories update faster but after that, my chapters may be uploaded once a month due to school. This year is really important so I really can't mess it up:(  
>  In conclusion please do forgive me if I don't upload for more than a month. The second round of exams are in early October and last for around two weeks. But after that, I can upload consistently!


	3. Despair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry's downfall is him himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is more on Harry's Pov. Well, I usually like to focus on characters equally so you probably will realise that the POV's aren't mostly on Ron. And thank god I met the deadline but my next week schedule is seriously horrifying. So the next chapter will be somewhere mid to late August. Also, I'm sorry If the story feels plodding. I like to embrace and reveal all the characters troubles especially like how I write Harry as. Enjoy the story!

Narrator’s POV

Harry woke up before any of the boys did, even before the sun did. Adrenaline was coursing through his veins, heartbeat beating at an abnormally fast pace. Along with that, a bright smile was plastered on Harry’s face as if all his worries from the previous night events had vanished into thin air. No matter how much you want to deny this, all the obvious facts which pointed to one statement begged to differ. Now it wasn't normal at all, Harry was never in such state of euphoria in the early of the mornings. No matter how exciting the day’s event was going to carry out. But only one person in this world who was capable to rile Harry Potter up was, Ron Weasley himself. Yes, Harry was excited because he had a plan-a marvellous one mind you-to apologise to Ron. Oh, how proud he felt with the plan that he repetitively played out in his mind, was quite sad, to say the least. But nevertheless, Harry went off to do his business and headed off to the grand hall. Empty, like a ghost town, there was not a soul in sight. In the empty hall, there sat Harry, seemingly concentrating on a book. But little do you know, he was making sure his plans executed with zero errors.

Harry’s POV

‘First, I’ll act as if nothing has happened. Then after our first lesson, I’ll go and apologise to Ron and tell him it was all a prank then I’ll offer him a treat to whatever he wants when we go to Hogsmeade. Yes, I’m sure this plan will run smoothly-flawless in fact. Ron will definitely pass it off as a prank, after all, the iron-steel act of mine never did stutter and thus there was no way Ron would ever figure out my feelings towards him. Never.’  
“Hey Harry, you’re pretty early today” Neville chirped.  
“Huh? Oh, yeah… couldn’t sleep so figured that tossing and turning in bed wouldn’t be a good use of time would it?” I was surprised at Neville appearance but quickly gave whatever reply I could think of at that moment.  
“Oh? Hermione’s personality is kind of rubbing onto you huh?” Neville looked down to see the book I was reading and tilted his head in query.  
“Mmm, maybe,” I replied nonchalantly.  
Nevile, without a word, quickly took the place beside me and started eating his breakfast.  
It wasn’t long before the student population started flooding into the grand hall and the previously eerie silence that filled it was replaced with loud booming voices. I tried my best to avoid Ron, to give him space because well I’m not an asshole, I respect others privacy so giving space to Ron was a no brainer thing to do. Well to me at least. The moment a piece of parchment was introduced into my line of sight, I groaned in annoyance.   
“Potions...”  
It wasn’t the subject itself that I dreaded, it was the professor. Honestly, him being so biased towards me is starting to really take a toll on me. Not that it hasn’t already. As I trudged my way towards the potion classroom with Neville, I spotted Malfoy. That git, he’s worst than Snape. Accusing me of something I didn’t do and making me the violator when clearly I was just expressing my heartfelt feelings towards Ron. But, not going to lie, Malfoy pulling me away from Ron before I could go on further maybe something I should thank him for-much to my displease. Ron may have hated me if I went on further than that, and even despise me. I… I can’t. The mere idea of being despised by him just pushes me into despair.   
“Harry? You alright mate?” Neville enquired.  
“Wh- Ye, a problem?” I replied.  
For merlin’s sake. Neville keeps on interrupting my thoughts. Doesn’t he know how to read the situation? Whoever did say ignorance is a bliss clearly is the ignorant one themselves.   
“Well, you seem to be deep in thought and well you almost walked into the door,” Neville stated precariously.  
“Oh really… thanks for your concern but I’m just tired that’s all. Couldn’t get my night’s worth of sleep and you know, feelin’ bit drowsy that’s all.” I lied right through my teeth.  
“Well, If you say so” Neville frowned a tad bit and quickly changed the topic to another one.   
As much as I’m interested in hearing his current affairs, I’m not. It’s not that I don’t like Neville or anything, it’s just that I’m only interested in Ron. He never bores me. Never.

The various smell of ingredients rushed up to my nose, which signalled the arrival in the potion’s classroom. Before anyone else could, I quickly pulled Neville along to the front seat and sat my arse down.  
“I thought you always sit with Ron? Did you guys have a fight?” Neville queried.  
“Um...kind of I guess,” I replied with a hint of reluctance.  
Damnit, Neville’s ignorant but he’s sharp. Wait but, aren’t those two contrasting words? How can they even be in the same sentence when describing someone. Neville’s kind of a mystery I guess.   
“BANG” A loud thud of books was echoed through the classroom and all eyes searched for the guilty party.   
Ron-  
He was a stuttering mess that can only mean that he’s still flustered about the previous day’s event but... he looks… scared? I...I have to apologise. Ron never felt scared of me before, he-he…I need him.  
The rest of the class quietened down at the sight of the slimy git and as for me, I tried to calm down and resist the urge to foil my plan.   
As the time ticked by, my patience started to wear thin and it took much effort to keep my composure in place. 

“That’s all. Class dismissed.” the slimy git voiced out to the class.  
The moment my favourite sentence was said, I stuffed everything into my bag and turned to Ron. To my dismay, he wasn’t there. There wasn’t time to lose and this was more important than the bloody transfiguration essay that was due in an hours time, which I admit did not have a single ink on it. I scanned the room to ensure that Ron was not in the room anymore, with that assured I quickly took my leave to find Ron. Along the hallway, I spotted Hermione and decided it was a good idea to ask her about Ron’s whereabouts.  
“Hey! Hermione” I called out to Hermione  
Hermione stopped in her tracks, which allowed me to catch up to her.  
“Do you know where’s Ron? After Potion ended, he just disappeared.” I said but looked around at the same time to see any traces of Ron.  
“Look, Harry, can we have a talk?”   
“What? Bu-” I was clearly displeased at her reply and wanted to find Ron as soon as possible  
“Now.”  
Something felt odd about Hermione, was it the atmosphere around here?   
I have a premonition that this won’t end on a good note.

“Hermione, I really don’t have time for this.” I irritatedly said to Hermione  
Once Hermione sat down on the couch of the Gryffindor’s common room, she glared at me. Talk about passive-aggressive...  
“Oh, I’m sure you have time for this Harry. Especially for this.” Hermione continued giving me the cold glare and practically spat the sentence out.  
“Hermione, what are on about? Did I do something to you?”  
With a deep breath, Hermione began ranting.  
“Are you an idiot? Or have you lost your mind? To just kiss Ron and ravish him like that, you are an absolute, horrendous and atrocious piece of garbage. Oh, and must I add, even Malfoy had the morality that you don’t have. If not for Malfoy, you’d probably rape him wouldn’t you, Harry. Honestly, I’m really disappointed in you.” Hermione's face was basically contorted in rage. It was a rare sight, to say the least.  
“What! Rape?! Are you and Malfoy ganging up on me? I wasn’t going to rape him!” This time my face was equally as contorted as Hermione’s, if not even more. Without any reluctance, I left in a fit to find Ron.

How could she?! She was my friend! Yet… yet she dared to gang up against me with Malfoy! And out of everybody, Malfoy? If I already didn’t know, Hermione’s probably whoring herself to Malfoy. Hah! If that’s how they want to play it, I’ll gladly be their opponent. 

Narrator’s POV

Blinded by rage and misunderstandings, harry was seething with rage while looking for Ron. No matter how smart you are, how much knowledge you’ve claimed to attain, one will always be weak to love. No less, stupid to love. Sometimes, if not always, making assumptions and being irrational to make a choice to chase after love is something common in symptoms on love. Up till now, all the decisions made by Harry by far was downright horrendous. Harry never did have a chance to apologise and clear up the air with Ron on that particular day. 

The day passed by and soon it was dinner time. But like the day before, Harry was nowhere in sight. Curiosity was sparked in some particular people and some wanted to ignore the currents events. For Harry, he was in his bed buried under his blanket plaintively crying himself to sleep. Not accepting the situation that arose against him. Unfair that have may seem, everything happens for a reason and to god that is behind this plodding drama slowly unfolding in your eyes.

When a particular redhead boy woke up the next day, he knew for a certain he was not well. But oh, to hell with that he thought. He couldn’t be brought down by just a flu, he added. Oh, if he knew of the later’s event would he decide to call it a day then. Oh, how he wished that was the case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for staying until the end, merci. Hope you enjoyed it :)


	4. Rage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Realisation can be of your own understanding of the situation. But really that leads to the escalation of the problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :) I am very happy to say that exams are officially over and I have all the time to complete this story. Thank you for your support and hope you enjoy this chapter!

Narrator POV

“Are you drooling, Draco?” Pansy said in a dumbfounded voice.  
Hearing this, Draco quickly snaps away from his thoughts, wiped his drool and sat up straight. All at one go, may I add.  
“Watch your mouth, Pansy” replied Draco, with a harsh tone.  
“I assume you fancy him… not goin’ to judge, but seriously?” said Pansy, with a hint of mockery.  
“I’m warning you, Pans-” Draco was sadly cut short by Pansy  
“Oh, shut your trap, your darling is waving at you.” She said, averting her eyes to the Gryffindors’ table.  
“Wh-”  
At the Gryffindor's table lies a redhead with freckles all over him. Knowing that he has gotten Draco’s attention, he smiles and waves at him with much enthusiasm. At this sight, Draco unconsciously smiles back. Along with his smile, his face was flushed like a tomato. Draco’s heartbeat quickened as time passed by, he couldn’t stop smiling. With that, he quickly looked down and hid his smile with his right palm.  
“Not goin’’ to lie Draco honey, you look just like your darling’s hair,” Pansy said, stifling her laughter.  
At that moment, Draco felt so blissful that Pansy’s comment was brushed off just like that. Draco couldn't believe that Ron was actually smiling and waving at him. Never in his life did Draco Malfoy thought that Ron Weasley would smile and wave at him, willingly. His calculation was now useless, unreliable and full of bonkers! This… this whole entire situation is defying the laws of life itself! Draco was at his wit’s end just from Ron’s simple gesture. But Pansy, being Pansy, found this drama unfolding right in her eyes extremely amusing. But the tip of the iceberg definitely goes to how Ron Weasley could make Draco Malfoy fall to his knees. Unbeknown to the world, Harry Potter was witnessing the whole thing. The amount of anger, jealousy and negativity bubbling in him right now, could kill a man. Whoever passed by him or even tried striking up a conversation with him was immediately sent off from his glare itself. Oh, if looks could kill, they would all have died.

“Who’re you waving at, Ron?” Hermione queried  
“No one in particular” Ron quickly brushed her off  
Hermione was unimpressed with Ron’s answer and gave Ron a glare  
She then waited a while for Ron’s reply but was met with silence. She sighed and tried looking at the direction of which Ron was looking at. ‘Oh? Malfoy?’ Hermione smirked when she saw Malfoy smiling back at Ron’s direction. Hermione then looked back to see Ron waving with much more vigour than before. ‘Oh?’ Hermione thought again, but this time she seemed to understand what exactly was going on. Hermione then looked back at Malfoy but the sight she saw was different than before. Draco was thoroughly flushed and was no longer looking at Ron. ‘He must be really happy’ Hermione thought. She then turned back her head to Ron and like before the sight amused her. Clearly, Ron didn’t have the same wavelength as she did. Ron had stopped waving and his smile was now replaced with a pout. Somehow, he looked like a puppy who got kicked. 

Ron’s POV

The previous week’s event was terribly exhausting. It took a toll on me and now I feel extremely lethargic. Maybe it’s the flu season but even so, I don’t usually get sick. Sigh, I seriously need a rest  
When I got to the grand hall, I saw Malfoy. Over the week, my view of him has drastically changed. I swore on my ancestors' graves that I would never be friends or even be on friendly terms with him and now I'm regretting it. Seriously though, I never knew that he could be such a kind-hearted fellow, it’s as if Harry and Malfoy had swapped their souls! Argh! Bloody hell, what am I thinking. I’ve gotta stop treating him like a wanker though. After all, he kind of saved my life and stopped acting like a git these few days...in addition to that, I told him that I would be friends with him. It may be a sudden impulse of mine that made me say it...  
I was searching through the crowd of green when I spotted the one and only Draco Malfoy. I quickly took my seat and waved at him, again. It’s as if I was a whole new person, I don’t feel like myself… why am I acting like a lovestruck teenage girl? Come on, you're a Weasley and a Gryffindor! Snap out of it! Argh bloody headache, bloody Harry, bloody Malfoy, bloody everything! When I was about to consume the food in front of me, I had a horrible urge to puke. Nausea… yeah, that’s the word. I have to go to the toilet. 

Narrator’s POV

Ron looked paler than he ever had. With hands cupped to his mouth, he hurried to the lavatory. The whole ordeal had many onlookers, some which were curious, some amused and some worried. Of course, the moment Ron had rushed to the lavatory, Hermione had trailed after him. And not long after, Draco and Harry. 

“Ron? Are you okay? Do you want me to call Madam Pomfrey?” Hermione shouted from the outside of the males’ lavatory.  
Continuous sounds of puking and gagging could be heard echoing from the inside. No response was made as Ron was too preoccupied with a more urgent matter at hand.  
“ Move Potter, no one needs your heroic ass here now.” Malfoy spat venomously.  
“ Well, no one needs a daddy’s boy here Malfoy,”  
“ Seriously, that’s the best you can come up with?”  
“ Boys! Can’t you leave the argument for later? Right now one of you should seriously go in and help Ron! I’m going to Madam Pomfrey, so please take care of him and don’t argue.”  
Hermione had enough of them. Couldn’t they see what’s the more important right now?  
Without further ado, both of them charged in with fervour. The sight that behold them was heartbreaking, to say the least. Ron was grasping the toilet seat and his face was facing down the toilet bowl. Not a pleasant sight.  
Draco then went to Ron’s side and soothed his back. At the same time, the lavatory was filled with an eerie atmosphere.  
“ Now’s not the time to be jealous, Potter. Seriously, I knew you were an imbecile but I didn’t take you for immature.”  
That seemed to calm the fire.  
“Ron, you feel better?” Draco asked with a soft and quiet voice.  
“Bloody hell, ye. ‘M fine ‘et’s go to class”  
Ron was angry. Few reasons in fact. One, he’s probably sick, which means he’s weak. Two, he made an unnecessary commotion. Three, why is both them here? Why are they here as if he’s a damsel in distress? He’s not! He can take care of himself. He’s not weak! Ron then headed towards the sink and washed off his puke then proceeded to his class. Like nothing happened. As much as he hated to say this, he felt like he could pass out any minute now. He hated this. He felt so weak, it’s probably just the flu! It’s no biggy yet I'm acting so helpless! Argh!  
Going down the stairs was tricky for Ron, he was so dizzy that he couldn’t tell if he went down or stayed on the same stair. At the same time, he’s ears were really ringing badly like a swarm of bees were in his ears. To add on to that, his limbs felt like noodles. And Ron was grasping the railings tightly as if it’s his life-support. However, the staircase moving was not helping at all. In fact, the previous nausea feeling was coming back. Ron’s body was burning up like an inferno and eyes were unfocused. The world was spinning around him. Was he falling? He didn’t know. Huh… I’m really sleepy… and did someone call my name? Who’s it? Ron’s thought was unclear and everything was a blur to him. When Ron loosen his grip on the railings, gravity had taken over and had Ron tumble helplessly down the flight stair. Along with his feverish state, he had sustained bruises and was bleeding in some areas. Luckily, many students were in the midst of going to class and witnessed the incident. Shouts of help were sounded along with screams of distress. Ron, surrounded by students, laid motionless like a corpse. Draco’s eyes were filled with anguish and were engulfed with despair. Harry, already in the depths of despair felt as if his scarred heart was mercilessly ripped open again and again. He wanted to call Ron’s name out but nothing could be sounded. It’s his fault, no,... it was Draco. It was always because of him. What seemed like eternal despair for Harry, slowly turned into seething rage.  
“ Move!”  
Madam Pomfrey could be seen with her brows furrowed and walking at a speed that seemed like she was running. In the nick of time, Ron was moved to the hospital wing.

“ I told you to look after him, didn’t I? Were you busy arguing to look after Ron?”  
By now, Hermione was more than furious.  
“ We weren’t arguing! It was…, sigh it was my fault. I, I was shocked. When Ron gave me the cold shoulders, I was just shocked at the difference of treatment. I’m really sorry Granger”  
Hermione was surprised, not once would she have thought that this unscrupulous bastard would go and apologise to her. In contrast to how Hermione had felt, Harry felt disgusted. The apology of Draco’s had only added fuel to the fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For people who wished to see the feelings between Draco and Ron blossom, I'm very sorry. There is going to be drama, few ups and downs but I assure feelings will be developed. This chapter is honestly more closely tied to Rons's personality, In my opinion, that is. But I hope that you did enjoy this chapter ;) I'll try to get the next chapter up in 3 days time!


	5. Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What exactly is love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello:) I managed to get this chapter up by today. Goal accomplished. Well, hope you enjoy this chapter!

Narrator POV

"Draco, your darling's awake," Pansy said in a hushed tone yet with much intensity.  
The moment the sentence was uttered, Draco left for the Hospital Wing without any further ado.  
Draco's brows were furrowed and had bags under his eyes. Afterall, endless worries for Ron only gave Draco sleepless nights. Pansy had trailed after Draco but his speed only left Pansy nothing more than a shadow to sought-after for. 

Draco was greeted with faces full of worry however one seems to stand out from the crowd. Harry. It was only natural for them all to be worried during this period of time and not let their differences worsen the situation. But Harry, begged to differ. The moment Harry was greeted with Draco's worried gaze, his face scrunched up in anger and his blood boiled to an unearthly level. The accumulation of his exasperation tightened his throat. Bloodshot eyes darted towards his target. Harry, to simply say, was fuming in rage.  
"Harry?" Ron croaked  
That seemed to restrain the raging bull.  
Harry ears perked up at the sound of Ron's voice and moved all his attention towards Ron. All previous trace malice dispersed into thin air.  
"Yeah, Ron?" Harry replied with much gentleness.  
"What… happened? I-I can't seem to-to, remember anything" Ron's voice quavered.  
At that moment, the room was cold. Time seemed to stay still, mercilessly slicing their hearts. All except for Harry. For him, it was a blessing. Oh, he thanked merlin for this.

Harry POV

When those words were uttered from Ron's mouth, it seemed the Gods had bestowed grace upon me. My stomach churned in excitement at how Malfoy was going to perish. Unconsciously my lips tilted upwards. Ron's amnesia, was working in my favour. When I shifted my gaze back to Malfoy, the sight only made my mood better. He looked sick, like he was going to throw up. It was evident that Malfoy was trembling and was clenching his fists. Anger? Sadness? Shock? All of the above? Whatever it was still gave me delight. It's the end of the road for you, Malfoy. The silence was prolonged and that made Ron unnerved. Cute.  
"Ron, you were terribly sick and you refused to let me take care of you. And you know what? Malfoy pushed you down. Of course you can't fully blame him, Afterall he didn't know you were sick."  
At my peripheral vision, I could see Malfoy eyes wide with shock but that slowly turned into pure rage. Parkinson was holding him down, pathetic. Oh, how could I forget Hermione. Betraying me and going with the snakes, fitting for her personality. Anger shown in her eyes. Similar to Malfoy, well they are like-minded people.  
"What? You pushed me down and still dare to come here? What you tryin' to do? Mock me? Laugh at me? Don't you have anything better to do than insult me?" Each word was filled with anger and loathe.  
Good, it was all perfect.  
"Ron, no. I-" Malfoy pathetically tried to come up with an explanation but was cut off by Ron  
"Since when did you call me Ron? Trying to pretend we're on friendly terms eh? Don't kid me, you're just gonna humiliate yourself. Piss off"  
By the end of the sentence, Ron practically spat his words out. And that was the end of the discussion. Malfoy left accompanied by Parkinson and not long after, Hermione. Figures. Though her leaving only made Ron confused. Damn it, that's unfavourable but I'll do with it.  
"Hey Harry, thanks for your help. Agh… My head really hurts though." Ron murmured while occasionally wincing In pain.  
"Oh yeah, could you fill me up on the things I've forgotten?" Ron suddenly perked up.  
That surprised me but nevertheless I took my chance.  
"Well, first, what is the last thing you remember?" I smiled.  
"Uh." it was then followed with silence.  
Ron rubbed his temples in an attempt to jostle his memories.  
"Ha-harry…bloody hell, I-I can only remember up till this year's start-of-term feast." Ron stammered.  
He was scared, well it was a given considering the amount of memories lost.  
The rest of the afternoon was spent with me explaining the events that occurred in which Ron had no recollections of. Of course with a few twists and turns. And a bit of spice.  
"Oh, I forgot to mention that we're dating."  
This sentence had made Ron splutter, sprung up from his bed and almost falling off from it. Cute.  
"Wait, wait what? When did either of us developed feelings for each other? I don't remember having feelings for you other than friendship of course!" Ron spluttered in embarrassment and his face began to match his hair. Beautiful.  
But ouch, friendzoned.  
Well that won't be enough.  
I leaned forward and the creaking sound of the bed resonated through the hospital wing. My fingers wrapped around Ron's jaw and tilted towards me. The sight of him had made me aroused.  
Ron was exerting quite a big amount of force on me but I pushed him down onto the bed and nipped his lips and occasionally suck on it. I tried to slip my tongue into his mouth but it was to no avail as his lip was closely shut. To counter that, I licked his lips and chewed on it. In response to that, he gasped. The moment when Ron opened his mouth I quickly took the advantage and explored his caverns. Ragged breathing and moans were sounded from Ron and oh, i wanted to eat him up. But I stopped. When my lips parted from his, there was a string of saliva. Along with that, in front of me was euphoria. Ron's eyelid was half opened and had teared up a bit. Not only that, he was still panting, his lips were swollen and had a split. This only made it harder for me to control my libido.  
I leaned towards his ear and whispered, "That's what we always do, Ron."  
Ron shivered at that and surprisingly moaned. His eyes widened in shock at his response and quickly covered his mouth.  
Cute. I couldn't help but smirk at that.  
"Harry, Harry I know we're in a relationship. But I-I need time to adjust to that. Can you… give me time?" Ron stammered.  
Damnit, why is he so cute, I really want to eat him up.  
"Of course, Ron. Afterall, I love you." I smiled, assuringly.  
"Sigh…I still can't believe we're in a relationship though. Bloody hell, Malfoy's a dick though making you suffer." Ron groaned.  
"He's a Malfoy after all, Ron" I replied  
My fingers caressed Ron's cheek and I smiled to myself loving how things have turned out. No longer do I need to bury those feelings, I can finally embrace my Ron. 

 

Draco's POV

My heart ached, It hurts so much. I'm not strong enough to endure it, I can't. Never before did Ron glared at me with such anger. It was always out of annoyance, never once was it out of anger. My heart felt like it got ripped out from my body and trampled on like nothing. This pain, cannot be compared to anything. I looked down onto my palms, it was wet. Why was it wet? Ron hates me. I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't-  
"Draco snap out of it!" Pansy bellowed.  
I stood still, processing what was going on. Pansy and Granger was standing in front of me and looked worried? Why?  
"Goddamn it Draco, calm down. You're a Malfoy right. So act like one."  
As much as the sentence seemed harsh, the tone of it gave it away.  
"Here. It's not… it doesn't sit right with me that you're crying."  
Granger took my hand and then placed a packet of tissue on my palm.  
As much as I hate to admit it, those two girls made me feel better. Though the scene kept playing in my mind repeatedly and crushing me down. They comforted me and occasionally spewed threats to Harry. It was soothing, I guess.  
But at the end of the day, the ache couldn't disappear. It was like a scar, a reminder of Ron's hate towards me.  
"Malfoy, you do know that if you're going to live with this perpetual suffering, you're just punishing yourself. You're no way in the wrong here. Remember, Harry's the mastermind of this whole thing and you. You are going to save Ron. No matter how long it takes."  
That snapped me back into reality. If it wasn't for Granger, he would have continued on suffering. For that he is thankful. But he very well knows that he is a Malfoy and Malfoys gets what they want. He's not going to sit down obediently and be a pawn of Potter's little silly game. No he is going to conquer it all and crush the disgusting smirk of his and make sure he will never lay a hand on Ron again. 

Pansy's POV

The tears of Draco had shocked me and Granger. Never in my life have I seen Draco Malfoy tearing up. He was a brat, a spoiled brat. Always using his daddy to make him look taller, bigger. His ego was enormous, nothing could compare to it. Countless of slytherins all stroked his ego, which obviously did not help. And yet, just from the string of words that was engulfed in anger from Weasley had made the Draco Malfoy crumble down like a weakling. How deeply did he love him? Envious perhaps, maybe astonishment, was present in me. Love is filled with wonders. Even I, could never understand it. So beautiful yet so ugly. So blissful, yet so painful. What exactly is love? Is love a weakness or a strength? Love is so great that it could even bring down the most egoistic person and even me. Will I ever understand it? Maybe, afterall I do love Granger very much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well so, I didn't add some tags in... So I guess it's a surprise? I hope you're not against their relationship though :) So the next chapter will also be up by 3 days time!


	6. Note

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note of hiatus/ excuse...

Dear readers,  
Deep apologies. I really did want to continue with this story and is still do but it's just that I've got no drive to continue writing this story for now. Never thought it would be this hard to write a fanfic... For now I'm putting this story on hold and I'll continue it when I get my motivation to do so. 

Yours Sincerely,  
Kat

**Author's Note:**

> Hi to all who read this whole chapter. If you did enjoy this chapter and would like to read more please tell me under the comment section. Thank you:)


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